Gettin' close....

Well, let's just pretend it's a baby...Look at Bella's face!! Priceless!! Poor thing, actually she's a pretty good sport...It's getting close..The birth of our baby brother, just bought the first box of diapers, not newborn of course, we have BIG boys, skip right to the #1 diaper, no newborn needed here, he's already over 7 lbs!!..the boys are very excited..they play "baby" by getting into the crib, swinging their stuffed animals in the baby swing and covering them with baby blankets..I'm sure they would use Bella if she'd sit still that long...but not happening...Notice the blue wall and black trim that we just had done..it's VERY blue, not completely finished..but looks great so far..It's feeling a lot like Christmas around here, but even better....We're glad Daddy has made it home from Canada..safely, I don't think I've ever been so happy to see him walk through the door..10 days with a almost 3 and 4 1/2 yr old seemed like a month, never again, I made him promise..my back is full of knots, I've got a few more wrinkles, but I survived...Now I'm off for that long bubble bath...and...I'm staying in until I shrivel...

Mr. Smarty Pants

My turn for the big chair...
and now it's my turn....

Oh studious ones..my boys love the library...they are WILD little boys but for some reason at the library they are ACTUALLY quiet AND obey!! They love to fill their baskets full of books. Brandt always picks the train and construction books and Barrett's books are the dinosaurs/dragons and monster truck books, no doubt about my boys are ALL boys...Scott has been gone for 10 days fishing with his Dad and brothers, so we've done EVERY kid activity you can think of...AND Mommy needs a massage as well as some meds for sanity..Daddy is coming home tonight and I'll give you one guess who is going to take a LONG bubble bath and lock the door to my bedroom and watch Reality tv reruns, Oh and this is why I've been missin' in action from the blogging world....

Permanent Summer smiles

I'm seeing a lot of this lately....Little Boy Smiles ..and I love it....

The Many Faces of a new Summer do

A new summer do for my little tow head...I'm not sure if he makes faces, to make faces or if he likes to make faces in the mirror..I guess I'll never know for sure..after seeing these pictures, you'll get to know my soon-to-be middle child pretty well...as he's ALWAYS making different faces to go along with whatever activity he's doing..Face #1

Face #2

Face #3

Face #4

Flower Power

This is what your flower pot looks like when you have little boys...No, the little orange suction cup "bullets" are NOT a new kind of flower, they are from the boy's pellet gun that they play with while I'm watering all my flowers outside, after they are done "helping" me with their little watering cans...I guess they thought these would be a great compliment to Mama's floral container...

Daddy Day

Our Daddy weekend started by taking the kids to the Berges Fest . Small town fun on a Saturday night..It's fun to pretend you're a kid again..you just can't count calories when you're served cheesecake on a stick with chocolate drizzled over it.....Brandt was in high gear..scarry..I can only imagine what he'll be like driving a REAL car...

Buckle up for safety..the kids hear me say this EVERYDAY so hopefully it will stick with them into the teen years...

Roll -a-coaster...fun...they loved it...even Mr. Safety (Brandt) thought it was great... We ran into some friends that we haven't seen in awhile, so that was a treat...

Barrett is just about to turn 3...it makes me so sad..It's a good thing we have a baby coming or I'm not sure how sad I'd really be...

Daddy day...If I were a guy, I'd say the day would of been a 10. Started with golf with buddies while the Mommies and kids hung out at the pool, jumped into the pool to cool off after golf which included bloody mary's..nice lunch in the shaded cabana, more pool time, napping while watching the US open and pizza for dinner..sounds good to me...remember we have to MAKE our pizza, no delivery here..well, we could get it from the country club but it tastes like dirt, no thanks..how can you not make great pizza when they can whip up an awesome steak or fish dish? They got a new chef, maybe I'd better try it again???

Kitten entertainment..rated G..

Drip...Drip..Drip..she watched them until they were dry...I know, lots of swimsuits, were in the pool everyday....drip...drip...drip

Baby B...

It's been a tough week..Linda (my step Mom) her Mother died, One of my high school classmates, Brian Adams, was killed in a car accident, Tim Russert of Meet the Press died, as you all know, all the flooding in the Midwest..Scott's hometown of Cedar Rapids has made national news, we know so many people that have lost everything, my single Mom sister is struggling, some challenges that Scott is having in his new job, the tornados in the Midwest, it's just a lot right now...I'm just sad...

Brian and I grew up together, our parents were friends, so they'd come over for dinner or we'd go boating together as families..My maiden name started with an A, actually Aa, which is of course dutch, but I was ALWAYS first in line, which can be bad or good, depends, and then Adams, Brian was after me..always..He always sat next to me in class and I remember he'd get in trouble all the time in Mr. Welch's history class for reading Louis L'Amour Western books while he was suppose to be taking notes. He was a popular kid and grew up in an A-frame house on the way to high school on the top of the hill..He leaves behind 3 kids and a wife that was in my sister's wedding with me...I can still picture the inside of his cool house with the spiral staircase. I remember a time when he was over at our house and we ran out of milk, we were asked to run to the gas station to get some. On the way home we were chased by this big black snake..he saved me, pushed me out the way and dropped the milk jug on the snake..He was a good guy, what I remember..he'll always be a part of my childhood memories..It got me thinking who and what do you remember from your childhood and why? Why do you remember certain incidents? Sometimes it doesn't make much sense to me..

I know it's crazy but when I heard Tim Russert died, I was in shock..Meet the Press is Scott's favorite show...He NEVER misses it every Sunday..if we are traveling, he'll look to see what time it is on locally..Scott read his book "Big Russ and Me" as soon as it came out and raved about what a role model he was for him as a Father..and how ironic, that he died so close to Father's day..The relationship he had with his son Luke was just amazing...The picture of him touching his chair after his Dad had passed on the set of Meet the Press is one of the most amazing and touching pictures I think I've ever seen.

With everything that happened the past week or so, with so much loss, you just have to wonder WHY? Life is so precious it is so cliche' but it's just so true, how else do you say it..I've looked at my kids and husband this week with such a gratitude that I haven't felt in a long time..you wonder why it takes such tragedies to shake you up and realize that our time is so short here on earth so you need to make the best of what you've been giving and really live life to the fullest as you just never know when you're number is up and much longer you have on this earth...

So with everything said and all the sadness that I've had lately, there is something that makes me happy...our latest picture of our 3rd baby boy...He's got the longest legs the sonogram tech has every seen..gee, wonder where he gets that..I've been struggling also with the fact I'm so far away from him...I just want him here in my arms, healthy so I can hold him, protect him from this sometimes cruel world. I constantly have the baby channel on which helps me mentally prepare that there REALLY is a baby moving in with us in about 5 weeks...You can only imagine what my "to do" list is like. But after all the tragedy that has been happening, I've put my list in a prioritized fashion and what gets done, great, what doesn't can wait..aren't' you proud of me??

I wasn't going to paint the baby's room as a nursery, I was going to go right into the "theme" bigger boy room..as Brandt's room is John Deere tractors/farm and Barrett's is firetrucks (which is a big hit as they play "firehouse" daily..) but I've decided to mentally prepare for the baby I'm going to forgo the "yellow-goldish" walls, as we were unsure if we were going to have a 3rd baby, and paint the nursery, sherbet ice blue, metallic silver and black..I'm ordering new bedding (I'll show you when I get it)..which I wasn't going to do, but you know what..life is just to short and the kids grow so fast, that if I can keep the baby a baby as long as I can..I'm going to do it...I took a bunch of my designer dresses to a consignment shop, so I'm going to use that $ for his bedding...I can't wait to tell you all his name...I've told some of you, but you know, you gotta keep some of it a surprise right?...He deserves a new and fabulous room and that's what he'll get...

So, as the week progresses, it's getting better, prayer helps, but please hug your wife/husband/kids today and tell them that you love them. Only focus on what matters the most, don't just say you want to be the best person YOU can be, just DO IT, take a chance, live, laugh, honor one another...One reason why I blog is that if it would of been me in the car accident or the one that died suddenly, my kids will have something to read when they grow up and to grasp at pictures of them when they were little. Hopefully they'd get to know me from my writings...I'd always want them to remember me ..Every day I pray that my kids will always be healthy and that they grow up to be old wise men with great, kind hearts...

Beachin' it....

Last week some of my bestest girly friends and all of our zillion kiddos packed up our cars and headed to the beach for the annual fun in the sun beach trip...just the Mamas and the off springs...WE had a blast..AND so did our beach lovin' kids....It's SO wonderful and a gift living so close to the ocean...

Here's Brandt..he loves the waves...he almost didn't make the trip as his stomach bug he caught turned to strep throat..but we managed after getting a shot in the butt..drama..remember this is why I'm having all boys..I have Brandt, Mr. Drama, and that's ENOUGH for me..the shot in his butt was over the top, you would of thought he had a butt implant put in instead of a shot..but they do hurt, but ya know..drama....after the first day or so, he was somewhat back to normal, very tired but he managed...no pics of Barrett this trip (good ones anyway....that little firecracker is to fast for my camera!!)

Here's Holly doing her exercises on the beach...what cracks me up the most is little Elizabeth in the background thinking...what IS she doin???!!! I will say I'm in a group with a bunch of health nuts, which isn't good for a friendship right? Angie is way over the top with all her ORGANIC ingredients, her smoothies are loaded with protein powder and this and that, not sure what it is, but I guarantee it's good for you..oh flax seed, ya gotta have flax seed..Not sure where I picked up these people but I did...but you know, they do kind of get me goin' on the health thing for a bit, but once I'm home I make a bee line for the MnMs that I have stashed in the cabinet....Oh, but doesn't' Holly look great!!!

Flashback....80's NAIR commercial...remember it???? We managed to have a few cold refreshing drinks on the beach...it was so relaxing...I love just hanging with the girls..the kids played and played in the water and the sand...lazy summer days, for sure....

Lola and Elizabeth...two cutie pies...We managed to make it out to our favorite Mexican place at the beach...La Playa...so yummy, it's a must...

My BFF...love her for so many different reasons....

Brandt playing on the shark...We bribed them at dinner with a promise to see the "tunnel shark" if they all did a great job at dinner, and for the most part with the long wait we had, they did pretty darn good....This is a must every year too.!!

All our zillion kiddos..they all played together great..no major melt downs to speak of...which is amazing with that number of kiddos...

These 2 are the crazy fun ones of the group, we'll we're all crazy and fun..BUT these 2 are the exception...so nutty...I love it!!!

Here's our way-to-cute beach house..LOVE the color...It was in the cutest neighborhood where all the houses where some pastel color of the rainbow and no two houses the same color..adorable..it was the perfect find..Thank you Linda for organizing such a fantastic trip..we're already looking forward to next years!! Thank you also to my girly friends for being such a wonderful group to hang out with...I couldn't ask for better girls!!! I'm looking forward to hanging out with our hubbies at our July get together!!!

Got string?

I just wanted to share with you a little about my husband and what I have to endure in my marriage...We were at date night this week, after a great dinner at Pasano's we decided to skip seeing a movie as there really wasn't anything that intrigued us, so you'd think we'd go to a romantic spot and sip on wine and continue talking about our first date, the kids, trips we'd like to take (typical date night conversation)..no not us...we bee lined to..hold your breathe...COSCO!!

Picture, me dressed in my heels (leopard ones that night) pushing the over sized cart with Scott running around wild seriously..he's like a kid in a candy store...I can't really call him a bargain shopper because he rarely steps foot in a store, but I'd call him instead a crazed mad man that turns into this money saving FREAK...If he thinks it's a good deal, it's in our cart regardless if we need it or not...If I send him to the store, it's like a surprise every time he gets home, MOST of the time I get the items I requested as well as 5 cans of beans, 3 bottles of cleaner (there is always SOME type of cleaner), and 8 sponges..BECAUSE they were ON SALE!!
So, let me tell you just a little insight on how much of a FREAK this guy really is..and I'M married to him!!! We're walking into the store when low and behold something is blowing in the wind..it's white..and long..and oh...it's a piece of string or twine, which ever you prefer to call it..My husband takes off ahead of me and is seriously chasing it in the gusty wind we've been having all week...You'd think he was chasing a $100 bill...but no, it's string or twine..when he captures it he exclaims..."I got it!! You know you never know when this could come in handy!!"...What? Are you kidding..???, then he continues to neatly wind it up and he stuffs it into MY PURSE!!! So yes, there is my pretty wallet, all sparkly of course, my leopard makeup bag, Barrett's pull ups in a camo cute mini diaper bag, AND a piece of string or twine...nice hugh...NOW you see what I have to endure!! So we continue our date night...in Cosco...with someone filling our cart with retarded stuff of enormous sizes and then we called it a night...Fun, hugh...Anyway, I kept the string, not in my purse of course..but I thought I'd better just in case he'd ask for it..I really just wanted to throw it out...as I'm SO nesting right now and getting rid of all "junk" in our house...
This was on a different date night a few weeks back..If you're local, it's a WONDERFUL yummy place...

It's probably the BEST service I've ever had in San Antonio, you have 3 different waiters..It's owed by a very successful business man in Mexico that predominately has upscale restaurants all over Mexico..they just GET it...the food, atmosphere, service was top notch...I not only love the whole experience of going out to eat at a great place as I've mentioned before but I love to know about the people who own it..If I were a movie star I'd for sure have a restaurant..I just love everything about a successful place to eat..

Anyway..I just have to tell you...and you're not going to believe this...but I USED THE STRING/TWINE that was in my purse!!! Scott and I were outside admiring our beautiful landscaping we've just had done, when low and behold one of our cypress trees that has been infected by spider mites, was leaning...I looked at it, looked at Scott and smiled "Eureka!! I can use the string/twine!!!"...He looked at me with the biggest grin..."See I TOLD YOU, it would come in handy!!"...So lesson learned if he asks me again to put something in my purse that he runs down and chases, I guess I will...

Blogging Buddies...

I got this bright idea to have a girls night out with some of my blogging buddies that I've recently meant through blogging...The neat thing is that I've gotten to know these girls over the Internet and to meet them in person was a REAL treat...You know ya gotta get with the times, my single friends do the computer dating thing and here's me..surfin' for friends!!! You know my friends don't call me the social chair for nothin'....Staci (Staci's heart) for some reason, I can't get my computer to attach links today, but she is on my "Blogs I check frequently"... It was hilarious...she ordered a steak with a potato for the side and it was seriously made for a Barbie doll..well, that she is..but the proportion was tiny, tiny, I would of needed 10 of them...


Stephanie, her smile lights up a room, They were both beautiful inside and out and FUN and cool with little kids, my kind of girls...Well get together again for some more blogging talk and laughs...

Jenn had to leave early before we could get her in the pic..We had a great time..Stephanie and Staci have started their own business designing blogs, Blogalicious Designs, so if you're interested, their contact info is available as I mentioned before..(sorry again, I can't link today??) Go check 'em out..they are fabulous!!!

Awwhhh....Shucks....

Being from Iowa, Scott and I are REAL good at shucking corn..and the boys just LOVE corn on the cob..of course, we have to cut it off the cob, for Mama too..cause I always get the one piece that is stuck in between your teeth for a year...so we ALWAYS cut it off the cob..Really, I know it's cheating a little, especially being corn feed my whole life with Iowa corn, but sometimes you gotta just put your foot down and say no to the brown annoying string that tries to act as free dental floss.... Here's Mr. Barrett aka...Daddy's big time helper..I was so excited to find my little corn scrub brush, you gotta have one...did I ever tell you that I'm a kitchen gadget freak?? You name it, I have it or want it..I've been organizing my kitchen drawers..it's on my list to re-organize EVER drawer in the house before the baby gets here...I guess part of the nesting thing..but I've been working in the kitchen..I love this little brush..it's very special..it gets off all those little brown hairs that tend to stick on the corn..that takes a full afternoon project to pluck them all off..not anymore with my John Deere scrub brush (as I call it) hence the green and yellow John Deere colors...
A little kiss from Daddy to say good job and thanks for helping.....

Scott was having a ball "teaching" him something new... OPPS..did you notice the price tag on the lamp?? I was deciding if they were going to "work" in our outdoor living area, and they do, so guess, I better remove it, hugh?? See, how busy I've been??
See..I told you..the John Deere brush is a hit....!!! Brandt is missing from the pictures, he's had the stomach bug all week and still has it...I hate it when the kids are sick, I was giving Brandt Gatorade to keep him hydrated and he told me, "Mama, I really shouldn't have this, there is way to much sugar in it and it's not healthy", I smiled and explained that it was ok to have it when you're sick, he's so sweet and such a rule follower, like his Mama!! scary! When I went up to his room to him crying, he said "Mommy, I've been sleeping way to fast"..I took that as feeling dizzy, pretty good description for a 4 yr old..then he told me "Mommy, I swallowed the flu bug".....it's been a long week...But I got a post snuck in while both the boys are napping... Thank Goodness it's Friday....

Our angel

Just thought I'd clarify as I'm getting a lot of questions from my blogging buddies/and anonymous readers...that we ARE expecting our 3rd child but our 3rd miracle baby isn't inside MY tummy..we are using a surrogate, our angel,...her name is Melanie.

I've thought several times if I should really go into detail..it's pretty personal..it's been a long journey..but I feel bad in a way that I haven't explained and I guess since I've chosen to share my life on the Internet, I do need to take a deep breathe and explain..not so much in detail, which I've decided NOT to do, because it is personal, it's still upsetting some days..but with much counseling and my faith, I've realized that to be a Mother you don't necessarily have to have the baby grow inside you...

Here's the short version: When we weren't getting pregnant we went to 3 different fertility specialists, each one telling us the same thing. After seeing in my medical history that my kidneys were deformed, I have one big one/one small one, they are piggy backed on top of each other and located in the front of my body next to my belly button..strange I know..but even more strange..when you are in utero, being formed as a female your reproductive organs are formed at the same time..so the doctors pretty much thought they knew what was wrong, and with several tests, confirmed it...again short version..non medical..I have only PART of a uterus that is non functioning with the one ovary I have..so basically my uterus (what there is of it) won't carry a baby...

We were devastated as you could imagine, a complete emotional roller coaster....Scott was so supportive of me and never once made me feel like I was inferior as a women that should be able to bare a child. I was a complete mess!! In fact, I truly believe that's one of the reason why we were put together, so he was in control of the situation when I couldn't see or think clearly. He was exactly what I needed during that time...and he held us together..We were told to look into adoption or using a surrogate.. We didn't rule out adoption but if at all possible to have biological children I wanted to try that. I grew up not knowing my biological Father and again, short version of it, had many, many, many issues from my childhood..and still do if you really want to know the truth!!Thank goodness for years of counseling!! Given MY childhood and situation, I needed if at all possible to feel complete and in my eyes, a surrogate would be our best option. I'm making a point of telling you MY situation as I think adoption is wonderful wonderful wonderful.. but I can't share with you the issues that were created in MY childhood, just trust me...adoption wouldn't of been a good fit for us. God knew exactly what he was doing when he sent us Melaine within months. We found her through a surrogate group we joined recommended from our fertility doctor....and the ironic thing is SHE is adopted..thank God for who and what she is or we wouldn't have our beautiful boys...

It's a small miracle in itself to find someone, close to home, she'd done this before for another couple and had 3 kids of her own..Again, I'm not going into much detail about all the medical part of it, I will however mention as I was laying on the examination table in the fertility office, our Doctor asked my permission if it would be ok if he had a few other doctors look at my uterus on the sonogram machine as it was so rare..next thing I knew there were about 12 people taking turns looking at the screen, I then realized what a "freak show" my insides must be.. but with all the medications/shots we BOTH have to take, we are just VERY lucky to have our children. My one ovary only produces a minimal # of eggs with the drugs, typically a women can get 30 eggs or so I get about 4 each time (Part of my condition)!! They won't even continue the process with any less than that..but with all 3 boys by the grace of God, all our transfers of embryos took the first time..Again a HUGE miracle...

It's been challenging this time as I've had to re-tell/re-live everything again with this pregnancy..in a small town, I've dealt with a lot of whispers and unusual remarks (I guess not knowing all the facts??). It's amazing what I've heard, very hurtful.. Hence maybe that's why it's taken me so long to actually post my story. But my close friends here in Texas have been so supportive just as they were back home.With Brandt we lived in Kansas City so all my family and friends went through the process with me. When we moved to Texas, Barrett was born shortly after our move, I hardly knew anyone so no explanation was needed. I often wonder why this has happened to me and I only only think of one thing and that is that I've become a better person, to be faced with such a challenge and over come it and of course, to be more faithful. I've had some amazing things come out of my situation. One of my dear friends, Lori (Lou-Lou) had offered to carry our babies for us, but since she hadn't had any of her own, the doctor wouldn't let her. Also, my sister Kelly (whom we look a lot alike) had offered her eggs to me when one of the cycles (that's what they call taking all the drugs) wasn't looking very good as my low number of eggs I get..Several of them "die" or don't continue on to become an embryo. So, if you have such a low number to start with, the statistics aren't very good. This happened with Barrett...they were about ready to "cancel" the cycle, but I begged them to give me the weekend just to see if the 4th egg would grow to the appropriate size..and sure enough it did and we've got our little spitfire!! I mean how do you thank people like my sister Kel, and Lori? To be so selfless?? and wanting to help??? and then we have Melanie...

I could write a book on all the details, the disappointments, the tears,the feelings, the worry, the joys, the miracles but I'll just say it's been a true journey, a true learning experience, to find someone, to trust someone, to create a bond that you can't explain..she is our Angel..

The boys will ask "Mama, when is the baby going to hatch from your tummy"..I simply explain to them that "Mommy's tummy is sick so, God gave us an angel to carry our baby brother"...and that he did...

You'll all meet her VERY soon..