Baby loot

I know my baby count down at the beginning of my blog says I have 20 some days left BUT it's really more like 12 days or so.., he's

sideways in the womb, just like my other boys..imagine that, difficult before they even come out..boys..Melanie has had a lot of back pain and is pretty much, like, get this kid the hell out of me!!

I've spent this week going through all my bins of clothes I had saved and was so disappointed to find out that lots of the small clothes I been saving, had been ruined in storage. I guess from the air tight bins and heat through out the years..so I started freaking out that baby B isn't going to have anything to wear..so I made the trip to THE coolest baby store in town, Nursery Couture. Can you say just say "Holy baby!!", I spent an hour and 1/2 drooling over everything.. gosh, and how things have changed really in just 3 years, it's amazing..I tend to gravitate to the funky, punk rock, guitar, skeleton stuff..kind of like Gwen Stefani's little boy, Kingston or Ed Hardy like..don't be surprised if our baby has a chain coming from his back pocket, attaching his pacy..kidding..but love the funky baby look, wondering if we have a rock star about ready to be born?? He's got a rock star name, I'm NOT kidding, can't believe my way-to-traditional-how-did-I-pair-up-with-him husband agreed to the name!!

My way to sweet step Mom, Linda got him THE coolest diaper bag..that is already packed for the hospital..So I'm very excited, a little nervous about how I'm going to juggle everything..I've been talking to myself everyday that it's ok not to have everything perfect..for awhile anyway..

On Oprah they had a segment on surrogacy and infertility, it made me so sad but yet so happy at the same time that we've been so lucky with our situation and that once again we soon will be blessed with another miracle, sometimes it makes me scared to wonder why our situation has gone so smoothly?...there is just so much stigma that goes with surrogacy that it makes the situation difficult sometimes..so I guess my way of dealing with something that I can't be in control of, IS, TO BE IN CONTROL of something I CAN be in control of, and I guess that is why you can eat off the floor in my garage and why every little Lego the size of your pinky has it's own spot in the toy room, and my organized drawers could be photographed for a Martha Stewart magazine..it's my therapy, it's my way of dealing with our situation..I guess in a way it's a good thing, other than driving my family nutso, at least I'm just over organizing..it IS somewhat beneficial...!!!

I found both the boy's little photo albums of pictures I took their first week of life. I've packed them in the new cool diaper bag to take to the hospital so we can see if our new brother looks like one of the boys or a mixture of the two or completely different..I'm so excited to hold him and snuggle I can barely stand it..I can't wait for that moment when you instantly fall in love, when he'll take his first breath of air.. there's nothing on this earth to compare that feeling to...only a Mother knows..nothing on THIS earth...